The Overlord Saga
Vol II. Versus
Chapter 4: There’s a Kraken In My Pool
The Ninja-Lord trudged up the stairs, ignoring the ceaseless bickering behind her. The Evocator, the Apprentice, the Advisor, the Captain, the Scribe, and the Master of Tazers were all causing a rather unnecessary racket as they climbed the three flights of stairs it took to reach the Overlord’s office. Glancing back with narrowed eyes, the Ninja-Lord’s piercing stare made the Scribe stop in mid-sentence, offering an apologetic smile. The Ninja-Lord grabbed the handle to the door of the Overlord’s office and swung it open, striding it rather casually with the others trailing behind her.
“Daily report!” the Scribe exclaimed, “Ehhh... Overlord?”
The Overlord was standing on her balcony, the sliding glass door still opened. As per usual, the sky was in his warm, almost glowing orange-red state, flecks of yellow mixing in to create a ‘sunset’ feel. The Overlord’s dark form contrasted as she stood, leaning down and over the railing as she stared at something far below. The Evocator frowned and walked over to the Overlord, leaning over and staring down at where the Overlord’s new pool had been built just last week.
The pool was large, a traditional rectangle shape with bright blue water. However, almost taking up the entire pool, was what appeared to be a large squid. Eyes narrowed, the Overlord pursed her lips, then glanced at the Evocator, a silent look of ‘What the holy heck is that’ on her face before looking back at where the squid was drifting there. The Ninja-Lord and the others joined them by the rail, looking down at the massive squid in confusion.
“WHAT IS THAT THING!?” the Apprentice shrieked, pointing at the huge monster.
“Overlord... Why is there a Kraken in our pool?” the Scribe asked.
“Oh no...” the Advisor facepalmed, then pointed at where the Animal Tamer was scrubbing one of the Kraken’s tentacles, “Animal Tamer! What are you DOING!?” The Animal Tamer looked up, quite baffled at the array of faces glaring at her from the Overlord’s balcony.
“So... Anyone want some calamari?” the Captain laughed and pretended to shoot at the Kraken with a gun. The Evocator jumped, nearly falling off the rail and blushing. She sent the Captain a scolding glance before looking back down at where the Animal Tamer was trying to hurry the Kraken out of the pool. It didn’t seem to be working very well.
“Sorry!” the Animal Tamer apologized, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck, “This is Bill! He’s my Kraken!” She handed all of his tentacles towels and backed away as he rose from the pool on two of his larger tentacles.
“A Kraken... Named Bill,” the Master of Tazers laughed, “That is so sweet.”
“Ugh... Never mind... Just... Get Bill out of there soon!” the Overlord waved a hand and looked at her council members with a twinge of annoyance. She let out an exasperated sigh, then pushed her way into her office, not even telling them to follow. They automatically trailed after her, similar to baby geese to a mother goose. When she plopped into her large armchair, they stood awkwardly before her desk, lined up perfectly.
“Report from Llama, Shinobi, and Kunoichi- the Archangel is well. Shall I keep them at their post?” the Ninja-Lord said, voice quiet.
The Overlord nodded, “Yes. Keep them there. But I want you to watch N. Make sure he doesn’t do anything... I don’t know. Incredibly stupid, drastic, damaging to my Fortress... You know. Don’t let him scratch his butt without me knowing.”
“Overlord... Does that mean I must follow him into the bathroom?” the Ninja-Lord looked disturbed.
“Does he use the bathroom? How could he in that armor?” the Apprentice piped up.
The Overlord cast the Apprentice a menacing glare, chuckled at the Ninja-Lord, and shook her head, “I don’t think that’ll be necessary, Ninja-Lord.”
“I’ve finished the outline of the Second Epic Battle. Here’s it is!” the Scribe set down a large stack of papers onto the Overlord’s desk, smiling cheerily. The Overlord glanced the stack over, nodding in approval. The Scribe continued, “I’ve also begun running searches on the name ‘N’. I think it stands for something.”
“No really?” the Overlord asked sarcastically.
“But what, though?” the Captain asked. “N... Nathan? Nate? Noah? N...”
“Nard!” the Advisor laughed, pointing at where Nard had jumped into the Overlord’s lap. The Overlord giggled and began petting her dog’s head. His tongue stuck out at the council members, his eyes squinted and his tail wagging. However, casting a glance at the Scribe, the Overlord merely offered him a semi-careless shrug.
“Continue your research.”
The Captain spoke next, “I’ve finished repairing the cannons that were damaged on the wall top. I was going to ask you about the Zombie Hunting Team you promised me when I signed the contract to work with you. It hasn’t been fulfilled yet. I have my Lieutenant and... that’s it.”
Thoughtful, the Overlord leaned her head against a clenched fist, elbow digging into the wood of her desk. “There’s a few new underlings crawling about her. Go recruiting. Fit them with weapons. I ordered some zombie-proof armor. It should be here tomorrow for you to wear.”
“Thanks be to the Overlord!” the Captain was trying to hide the fact that he was excited about the new armor... and having his own team of zombie-killing warriors that got to wield assault rifles, bazookas, and grenades.
The Master of Tazers was next, holding up an official letter from Jamie. As the Overlord took it, she couldn’t help but laugh at the abundance of shiny stickers that covered the envelope. She nodded her thanks to the Master of Tazers and opened the envelope, reading aloud, “Dear Emily... Things are going great in the Caribbean. We found the Aztec Gold, but when we realized that it made us all into skeletons, we rethought our decision to take it, so we returned it. It made me think of all of the great times we had together... Like the one time you ate that macaroni crap... Or the other time when you insulted that huge, fat warrior and called him a manslut but didn’t know...” The Overlord’s voice trailed off, biting her lip and wincing as she read silently.
“What’s it say?” the Apprentice asked, raising her eyebrows.
“N-nothing!” the Overlord stammered, then finished rapidly, “She’s coming to the Fortress in two days. That’s all.”
“Somehow, I really doubt that,” the Evocator teased.
“I wanted to discuss with you what’s going on with Gabriel. Maybe if you give him back, God won’t penalize you,” the Advisor suggested, “I mean, think about this, Overlord! We might have beaten the Uberlord, but...”
The rest of the Advisor’s words were lost to the Overlord. It was something along the lines of ‘God loves you blah blah blah blah blah and we can’t afford to get kicked out blah blah blah big head blah blah blah egotistical blah blah blah look what happened to the Uberlord blah blah blah blah blah blah blah what if you aren’t as strong as you say you are blah blah blah blah blah.’ The Overlord nodded when she realized that the Advisor had finished speaking, and said in a very affirmative voice, “I will take that into consideration.” And then, promptly forgot everything the Advisor just said.
“Good!” the Advisor looked relieved.
“Okay, so, about this Christine girl,” the Apprentice strode up to the Overlord’s desk, slamming her hands onto the surface. She winced, then rubbed them, regretting her decision. The Overlord watched her, an extremely apathetic gleam in her eyes. The Apprentice continued loudly, “She’s taken over my Dungeon! All the Soul-Keeper cares about is her! He won’t even train with me anymore! It’s ridiculous! ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!”
“He’s neglecting your training?” the Overlord raised an eyebrow.
“Yes! And how can I ever be the next Soul-Keeper without his training?” the Apprentice wailed loudly.
The Overlord rubbed her chin, regretting the Soul-Keeper’s decision to not grow out a beard so that she could stroke it while she thought. She eyed the Apprentice up and down, then glanced at the Evocator thoughtfully. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, the Overlord shrugged, “I’ll demote him. Go with the Evocator until I speak to you later. The Soul-Keeper shall furthermore be referred to as... the Concubine. Thank you, now... I must be going to check on-”
“Wait... WHAT!?” the Apprentice demanded.
“Errr... Overlord?” the Evocator stammered, “I need to talk to you...”
“Do you KNOW what a concubine is?” the Captain stammered.
As the noise level from the office rose until it was unbearable, the Overlord covered her ears with both hands. ‘Ugh... I need shock collars on all of them. If they talk too loudly... ZAP! No more talk-talk for awhile...’ As the Ninja-Lord calmed the rest of the council down, the Overlord pointed to the Apprentice first, “You heard me.” Then the Evocator, “Okay.” And then, the Captain, “Yes.” Finally, she glanced at the Ninja-Lord, then said, “Escort the rest of the council from my office save for the Evocator. I need some peace and quiet.”
“But... But you don’t understand!” the Apprentice protested as the Ninja-Lord dragged her out of the office. The door slammed shut behind the last council member out, leaving the Evocator and the Overlord alone in the office.
The Evocator pulled up a chair and sat in front of the Overlord’s desk, watching as the Overlord made herself a cup of coffee. There was an awkward silence, though the Overlord could hear the Ninja-Lord pulling the Apprentice down the hall. However, the stomping of feet was interrupted by a loud series of ‘booms’ as someone clearly fell down the stairs. Snorting with laughter, the Overlord glanced over her shoulder at the Evocator, then asked, “Want something to drink?”
“Er... I’m fine, thanks,” the Evocator replied.
“How are your powers?” the Overlord asked, settling back into her chair with the cup of coffee in hand.
“They’re fine,” the Evocator nodded, “The Theurgist and I have been working on furthering our summoning skills.”
The Overlord, who had been in mid-sip of coffee, sputtered and began choking as she tried not to laugh too loudly. Blushing, the Evocator looked down, nodding and realizing what was so humorous. The Overlord cleared her throat, wiping away some coffee from her mouth, “Is that so?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s the Theurgist I’m worried about,” the Evocator said earnestly, “He’s not been getting much sleep. He keeps complaining about these nightmares, but he won’t tell me what they’re about.” The Overlord’s grin had fallen from her features, recalling the past few premonitions she’d received from the Theurgist. ‘Ice... Covering the castle. I’ve not heard stranger stories...’ the Overlord reassured herself and took a careful drink of coffee, listening to the Evocator as she spoke, “I went to check on him one night and he was talking in his sleep. He kept mentioning your name........”
“We’re not having an affair,” the Overlord said immediately, “If that’s why you think he’s talking about me.”
“No, no!” the Evocator shook her head, “He just... He told you to run. That’s what he said.”
“To run?” the Overlord raised her eyebrows, “I’m not much of a runner. I like fighting, Evocator, surely you know that.”
The Evocator nodded, worry filling her eyes, “I’m just worried,” she whispered very softly. The Overlord felt a pang of sorrow in her own heart, though bitterly glanced away. For a second, she tried to fathom what the Theurgist could be dreaming about. ‘It’s not like he’s not been wrong before...’ the Overlord thought, nipping at her lip. But she didn’t want to tell the Evocator this. She didn’t want to have to get everyone worried. ‘Besides... Who says that this isn’t just a dream anyways?’ the Overlord tried to reason.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s okay,” the Overlord shrugged, “And if he isn’t better in a day or two, why don’t you tell me, okay?”
“Okay...” the Evocator lowered her head, but rose to leave the office. The Overlord frowned, watching the Evocator as she sulked out the door, closing it gently behind her. Sighing, the Overlord glanced at where Nard was sitting in his bed by the fire. Tearing her eyes even away from him, the Overlord looked out the window, at the silent forest where the Insurgent Leader was waiting.
“He’s been awfully quiet, Nard,” the Overlord murmured, “Too quiet... I wonder what Thomas is up to?” She laughed, shaking her head, “Or... Should I say... I wonder what Baby Brother is up to?” Nard responded with a little pink tongue sticking out of his mouth.
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