Saturday, June 19, 2010

TOS- Vol 1, Pt 1, Ch 6

The Overlord Saga
Vol I. Past, Present, Future


Chapter 6: The SVC


Before I go on into any detail about what happened next, I think it’s an appropriate time to take a sort of an intermission and explain exactly what the Super Villain Committee is, just so that all of the non-Super Villains in the audience understand what’s going on.

The Super Villain Committee (SVC) was created before even Lex Luthor, who was most likely one of the oldest members on the board. No one is quite sure who came up with the idea, but over time, it became a very restricted community of villains that was incredibly difficult to get into. Some of the rejected villains called it a cult, and the Overlord probably agreed that it was heading along that path with all of the twisted rules and the convoluted leadership. Then again, you have to remember, that putting a bunch of egotistical, sinister, usually rich people together was probably not the smartest idea because they all wanted to be the leader.

The SVC was full of inconsistencies, controversial subjects, but the overall membership card earned you a bucket load of respect points when you were dealing with the lesser villains. The Overlord had once attempted to end a villains-only club, which had been guarded by that pesky Star Wolf team. When Wolf had attempted to stop her at the door (“Can’t let you do that, Overlord!”), she’d given him a smile, a flash of the SVC membership card, and had literally danced right past him.

So, in other words, the prestige of the membership was nice to have if you wanted to go partying. Other than that, the Overlord was a step and a half away from calling it quits from the SVC due to their absurd rules and dictatorship under Lex Luthor. She didn’t even understand what was so great about him anyways. He’d been trying to kill Superman since 1940, and had failed every time. The only time Superman had actually died in any of the comics was due to Doomsday, but then again, the Overlord figured that having a giant war machine as the leader of the SVC would most likely lead to bad things...

Anyways, the SVC was a fairly large community, but most of the members blew off the meetings as though they were nothing at all to be concerned about. But when Lex Luthor decided to ring you up on his cellphone, you either were busted for something that violated the SVC Code, or you were getting a promotion... Or, he just wanted to tell you that he absolutely loathed you. Either way, the Overlord figured she’d done something to tick the bald villain off, and, strangely enough, wasn’t too concerned with whatever punishment he was going to dish out. For God’s sake, they were all bad guys. They all had shunned morals and ignored their conscience. Did Lex honestly think she would cooperate with him? ‘He’s delusional’, the Overlord thought.

“Overlord?” Lex Luthor’s voice was a content purr on the other end of the phone.

Having half a mind to say ‘No, sorry, wrong number’, the Overlord hesitated before replying with a short, crisp, “Yes?”

“I was just calling to inform you that we will be moving the meeting up a week,” Lex Luthor replied casually.

“Why didn’t you just Facebook me?” the Overlord asked. “A week up? I think I’m busy already...”

“Oh, right, my second bit of news is I have finally captured Superman,” Lex Luthor beamed. The Overlord made a face and made a puking motion as Lex continued, “I was hoping to show him off at the next SVC meeting...”

“So you moved it up so you could show him off before he makes his daring escape? Clever... Not quite appropriate for the SVC leader, though,” the Overlord remarked sarcastically.

“I... Well I... that is... Fine, the meeting is back to its original date,” Lex Luthor replied, “He will NOT escape me! Not this time!”

“You said that the last time,” the Overlord pointed out.

“I said... Oh... What?” there was the sound of a siren going off and shouts somewhere in the background. Lex Luthor could be heard yelling at someone, then said as calmly as he could on the phone, “I’ll call you back.” Before the Overlord could respond, the call ended.

“What’s that all about?” the Insurgent Leader asked from where he was sitting on the ground, running a piece of cloth over the longsword to clean some of the blood off of it.

“Lex Luthor just got owned by Superman again,” the Overlord replied, “You wanna continue this, eh?”

“We’re not getting anywhere with this,” the Insurgent Leader pointed out standing up and sighing in exasperation. “But I guess we could try this again.”

“We could,” the Overlord held up the scythe, shoving her cellphone into her pocket. “I called off my Underlings, though.”

“I called off my Insurgents,” the Insurgent Leader pointed out, “Why don’t we settle this the old fashioned way?”

“Haven’t we been trying to do that?” the Overlord remarked, “I suppose we could have one last duel today. But, I’ll be honest with you, that nasty cut on my side is really starting to piss me off.”

“I’m sorry,” the Insurgent Leader said blandly.

“Don’t lie to me,” the Overlord replied, “Let’s just get this over with. For the fandom out there?”

“For the fandom!” the Insurgent Leader agreed with the nod of his head.

The Insurgent Leader pointed Muramasa at the Overlord, but the Overlord frowned suddenly and held up a hand, “Before we go back to beating the crap out of each other, can I ask you a question?”

“I suppose...” the Insurgent Leader said awkwardly.

“Is the longsword compensation for your height and/or something else?” the Overlord asked with a grin.

“Ugh! False One!” the Insurgent Leader charged at her angrily, the blade glinting in the light. He clashed blades with her with such force that sparks flew to the ground. The Insurgent Leader spun around swiftly, and the blade went through the Overlord’s shoulder.

“I guess I deserved that,” the Overlord gasped as the Insurgent Leader pulled the blade out of her shoulder. She leaned against her scythe as the Insurgent Leader raced forward, leaping high into the air with the sword pointed down to pierce through her head. The Overlord moved out of the way in time and hit the Insurgent Leader in the back of the head with the butt of her scythe.

“I’m getting a little tired of this,” the Insurgent Leader admitted as he pushed himself to his feet.

“I agree,” the Overlord lowered her scythe, “What do you say... Tomorrow, noon, we continue this?”

“I wanna sleep in,” the Insurgent Leader protested.

“Fine. 4 p.m.” the Overlord nodded, “Got it? Right here. We’ll resume tomorrow... And it’s a good thing we stopped now, too, because LOST is about to start and I want to find out what that stupid black smoke thing is.”

“I think everyone does,” the Insurgent Leader remarked.

“It’s so weird,” the Overlord agreed, then shrugged, “Well, catch you tomorrow, eh?”

“Yeah, whatever,” the Insurgent Leader waved and began back toward the forests. The Overlord sighed and rested the bloodied scythe on her shoulders as she began walking back toward the Fortress. As she entered the main gates, the Advisor raced down the steps to greet her, followed by the Evocator and the Master of Tazers.

“Another draw?” the Evocator asked in dismay.

“Yep,” the Overlord replied, “Where’s the Soul-Keeper?”

“He and the Ninja-Lord were dragging Underling Sexist and Underling Tinkerbell to the Dungeon... You should probably stop them,” the Advisor frowned.

“Eh, screw them,” the Overlord muttered, then stopped, “Eh... Actually, tell them to bring those two to my office. We’re having an emergency meeting.”

“You’re bleeding,” the Advisor commented, “You realize that, right? You look awful...”

“The Overlord never looks awful!” the Overlord protested, hobbling up the steps, “And for the record, I might look worse off, but I had better lines in the script than the Insurgent Leader did.”

“I’ll taze him for you,” the Master of Tazers offered.

“No need. I’m meeting him back out there tomorrow at 4. We’re having a one-on-one,” the Overlord responded, “I need to get my wounds treated before then or tomorrow’s going to be painful.”

“What we need is a plan,” the Advisor folded her arms.

“Well, I’ll leave that up to you because, apparently, bean burritos don’t work on Insurgents,” the Overlord hissed moodily as they stepped into the main entrance of the Fortress. She took one glance about the spectacular columns and statues decorating the entrance to her Fortress, then glanced at where she was leaving a trail of blood.

“UNDERLINGS! Clean this mess up!” the Overlord roared angrily and then continued on her way down the hall.

“Oy... she’s in a bad mood,” the Evocator remarked as the Overlord began trudging up the stairs to her office. “Suppose we should help her?”

“Yeah... I mean she can’t die, apparently, so... Oh, whatever, let’s go help her!” the Advisor nodded and the two raced after the Overlord.

As the Evocator and the Advisor helped the Overlord up the stairs and into her office, the Overlord began muttering, “Before tomorrow, I want a flawless plan laid out. And a Monster. I want a Monster, too. An orange one. Make it happen.” The Advisor sat the Overlord on a comfy couch near the fireplace.

“A Monster?” the Evocator asked, “Do you really need those?”

“To defeat him? Yes,” the Overlord insisted grumpily.

“If you insist...” the Evocator sighed, “I’ll send someone on it.”

“Thanks...” the Overlord nodded, then glanced up as the door swung open. The first thing that came flying through the door was Tinkerbell, who had rudely been kicked into the office. The next thing that came stumbling through was Sexist, looking disgruntled with a pair of handcuffs pinning his hands to his back. The Ninja-Lord walked casually inside, followed by a frantic Soul-Keeper.

“Are you okay!?” the Soul-Keeper cried out in horror, “What did he do!?”

“I’m the Overlord. I’m more than okay,” the Overlord laughed, “I see you got the two unruly subordinates.”

“You don’t own me!” Tinkerbell yelled, “You’re not an Overlord!”

“Look around. People do my bidding. They call me an Overlord. I have power here, unlike you, so that makes me an Overlord,” the Overlord replied, “I need to decide what I’m going to do with you two.”

“Why can’t they go into the Dungeon?” the Soul-Keeper whined.

“Because I don’t want any more surprise pregnancies... Especially not more pregnant men,” the Overlord grabbed the Soul-Keeper by the chin, forcing him to look into her eyes, “Listen. Can you do me a favor? It’s important. I want you to go down the Animal Tamer and pick up Nard. Then, I want you to bring him here. Okay?”

“Why do I have to-” the Soul-Keeper began.

“And then, I’ll let you have Christine Daaé’s soul... In the Dungeon, too. Understood?” the Overlord asked. Eagerly, the Soul-Keeper nodded and he dashed away. Turning to the Ninja-Lord, the Overlord said, “You will monitor these two until I say otherwise. Is that clear? Feel free to give them the hardest tasks in the Fortress.”

The Ninja-Lord looked at the two unruly underlings, scowled, but nodded without protest. Satisfied, the Overlord looked at the Advisor, “We’ll come up with a plan... We have a lot of work to do if we’re to smash the Insurgents and then get Gabriel his fill of souls.”

“Gabriel?” the Advisor asked.

“Oh... I suppose I forgot to tell you all that Gabriel’s requested a donation to Heaven,” the Overlord retorted sourly, “Again, we’ve a lot of work to do. I need to have time to talk to Jesus and get him to lower the amount of souls that I have to give up.”

“Jesus always listens,” the Advisor said thoughtfully, “Perhaps he’s listening now...”

“No, that’s preposterous. I have these walls reinforced so that people can’t listen in. Though... I wonder if it protects against higher, holy beings such as Jesus and God?” the Overlord frowned, “I need to have that looked at.”

“That would be wise,” the Advisor nodded.

“Yes... Wouldn’t want Jesus to hear anything he wouldn’t want to hear...” the Overlord muttered, then cleared her throat, “Right! Emergency war council!”


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