The Overlord Saga
Vol I. Past, Present, Future
Chapter 16: The Room of the Wises
“So... Why are we here again?” the Soul-Keeper asked, staring into the mouth of the cave. The cave was the stereotypical giant cave that probably led to something a bit more belligerent than a gathering of old wise men. He tapped a rock with the butt of his staff, then looked into the cave, making a face, “This doesn’t look very fun.”
“Em... You sure this is right?” Jamie glanced at the Overlord, who seemed a little out of it. The Overlord wiped her forehead, shrugged, then began walking toward the cave. Jamie sighed, hanging her head and muttering, “Well, at least we’ll be out of the sun.”
“We’re all going to die,” Sexist said flatly as he entered the shadow of the looming cave. He stayed closest to the Advisor, who seemed pretty tired of walking. The Overlord ran her hand along the wall, her eyes narrowed in the dim light. She could hear something speaking just yards away, but it was muffled and sounded as though it was in another language.
“I hear it, too,” the Advisor whispered to the Overlord, machine gun in hand, “I’ve got you covered.”
“Thanks,” the Overlord muttered and held her scythe out, ready to ambush whatever was seemingly chanting in the midst of the cave. She held up a hand to warn the others behind her and moved around the corner to see.......... a baboon.
“What the heck?” the Soul-Keeper commented, listening to the baboon as it chanted.
“Asante san, a squashed banana, asante san, a squashed banana, wewe nugu mimi apana!”
“Okay then,” Sexist remarked dryly, clearly under the belief that this baboon was high.
“Asante san, a squashed ba- whaaaat?” Jamie held up her hands when the Advisor gave her a dirty look, “It’s a catchy song.”
“Uhm, e-excuse me?” the Overlord began, holding up a hand and approaching the baboon. “Is this the Room of the Wises? If not, do you know how to get there?” ‘If not, I will personally take a squashed banana and shove it up your-’
“Ahhhh,” the baboon shook a large stick at the Overlord. She watched the gourd at the end as it rattled, her eyes narrowing and her lips turning into a rather displeased scowl. “Looking for the Wises are you? Need some help, do you?”
“No, we’re just going there to say hi,” the Overlord folded her arms after placing her scythe in its holder on her back. “Actually, we need to speak with them immediately. It’s... It’s.... a matter of... errrr.... national security.”
“National security, you say?” the baboon hopped onto a rock, turning away from the group. The Soul-Keeper immediately began giggling, elbowing Sexist and pointing at the baboon’s blue butt. Sexist, obviously unamused, looked away and tried to hide a blush. The baboon began chanting, “Asante san, a squashed banana, asante san, a squashed banana! Wewe nugu mimi apana!”
“What does that mean anyway?” the Overlord exclaimed.
“It means you’re a baboon. And I’m the Overlord,” the baboon replied, making a face, then dashing away into the darkness of the cave.
“Ughh! Damn monkey!” the Overlord began chasing after him, “Shouldn’t even have a tail... Anatomically incorrect cartoon characters!”
“What do we do?” the Advisor frowned.
“Follow her!” Jamie ordered and began chasing after the Overlord. She dodged past a rock jutting from the wall and ducked under what looked like another protruding stone. The Overlord was just a few feet in front of her when she disappeared entirely, leaving no trace. Jamie kept running, foolishly plunging into the darkness. She felt herself trip over something and suddenly, it was bright.
“Ugh...” the Overlord complained, shielding her eyes from the bright sunlight. When Jamie’s eyes adjusted, she could see the hollow where they had entered- surrounded entirely by walls of rock. Seats had been carved out from the rock- each seat displaying a person.
“Where are we?” Sexist asked, looking at the center figure- an old man with small spectacles and and a very long beard.
“Dumbledore?” the Overlord asked, “Gandalf...” She spun around, looking at the room full of people, “Yoda... Holy crap.”
“We know why you’re here,” Dumbledore waved his wand, “We’ll dim down the lights a bit for you. I know, that cave is rather dreary.” The light of the sun seemed to darken. The Overlord nodded gratefully, then glanced at her companions, motioning for them to stay quiet and calm.
“Your plight,” a woman with dark brown hair said from where she was sitting, cross-legged with a bowl of ramen noodles, “Is a difficult one. But you must know what you need to do... Overlord.”
“Sensei!?” the Overlord gasped, staring at where the senior ninja was pleasantly eating her lunch. “You’re here?”
“She’s not the only one,” another familiar voice called. The Overlord turned to see yet another familiar face.
“Elwell!?”
“These are all some of the Overlord’s mentors,” the Advisor glanced at the others, “Her sensei... She taught her how to fight. Elwell? She could resurrect zombies... Something the Overlord hasn’t quite accomplished yet. And-”
“Obstruckshun?” the Overlord gaped. “You’re all here!?”
“You okay there, Em?” Jamie teased playfully.
“Obstruckshun. Master of stealth. Could hide anywhere in a crowd and never be detected,” the Advisor finished. “Famous for being a cyborg, by the way.”
“Don’t look so surprised,” Elwell remarked, “You knew I’d make it here, didn’t you?” She asked, her gaze at the Overlord piercing. When the Overlord nodded vigorously, Elwell replied with a chuckle, “That’s what I thought.”
“Know who you are, I do, Overlord,” Yoda said calmly, “Why you are here, I know as well. Help you, we cannot.” When the Overlord turned to protest, the green alien held up a three-fingered hand and said, “A moment, you must wait. Explain myself, I will.” He took a deep breath, “Our fight, this is not. Your fight, it is. What is given to mortals, to mortals, it shall stay.”
“Mortals!?” the Overlord began in outrage.
“We do not all ask for such heavy burdens to be given to us. Even the strongest, most prestigious of us all turn our eyes to wiser men to lighten the load. But it is the heavy burden than makes a person stronger in the end,” Gandalf the White said with the stroke of his beard.
“In other words, you’re on your own,” Obstruckshun replied with a shrug.
“Never give up! Trust your instincts!” Peppy Hare piped up from where he was drinking some tea.
“Wait... You’re telling me that I’m on my own?! What kind of ‘Wises’ are you!?” the Overlord yelled. “You’re just gonna let the entire world get screwed up because it’s ‘my fight’ and ‘not yours’!?”
“Sound more like ‘Wise Asses’ to me,” the Soul-Keeper muttered under his breath.
“Listen, I know it’s hard, but you have to believe us. We can help but we can’t fix your problems for you,” Sensei replied, her voice edged with sorrow, “All I can tell you is that you have to listen to your heart, Overlord. You have to know what’s right and what is best. That is how you became the Overlord and I know that ninja I trained is somewhere in there. Somewhere past the villainous cape and creepy looking scythe...”
“That ninja didn’t go anywhere. She just grew up. She got tired of rules about honor and other crap like that,” the Overlord folded her arms. “Elwell? Obstruckshun? Got anything to add?”
“Maybe you should just try... you know... Confronting the situation?” Obstruckshun remarked, “Instead of running away like this. Isn’t that what you’re doing by coming here?”
“I...” the Overlord stammered, then shook her head, “Enough from you. Elwell?”
“Just don’t screw things up,” Elwell retorted, “You’ve got your head on straight. You just need to do something about this.”
“I didn’t come here for a pep talk, I came here so that you can tell me what’s going on!” the Overlord exclaimed.
“Sometimes, it takes a good ‘pep talk’ to open up the heart to realizing and understanding the world in a different way,” Dumbledore pointed out. “Now... You would rather us tell you where your path leads than encourage you to find out for yourself?”
“Yes, it’s much easier,” the Overlord said haughtily, “So... Just tell me already!”
“I’m afraid... We can’t tell you. But we can show you,” Sensei replied, then looked at Gandalf, who raised his staff. The Soul-Keeper’s eyes widened and he began to shout a warning when the old wizard slammed it against the ground. The room began deteriorating around them, the scenery fading away.
“Wait! You can’t do this!” the Overlord yelled. “What... Can’t you just help us in the normal way? Like... pat us on the head and tell us where to go and who to kill!? HEY! WE STILL NEED HELP! WE NEED ADVICE!”
Somewhere, from the fading group of Wises, Peppy Hare could be heard, louder and clearer than anything else in the room, “DO A BARREL ROLL!” The Overlord was forced to close her eyes as the entire room went a blinding white, her hand reaching up to grab her scythe. However a sudden tremor knocked her clear off of her feet, and, suddenly, she was staring up at the ceiling of a stone room, dazed.
‘What’s... going on?’
The Overlord sat up, stiffly and slowly as her head was still spinning. She fell back over again, feeling nauseous as she grabbed the stone floor with a hand. It crossed her mind that the surroundings seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t place it. Instead, she proceeded to vomit on the floor, her eyes still adjusting. As she began to sit up, she felt something cold against the back of her neck.
“Don’t move, False One,” Sexist said as forcefully as he could. The Overlord froze immediately, her heart racing as she realized that she was completely and utterly alone with the second-in-command of her rival. She took a deep breath and lifted her hands, trying to assess the situation. Sexist grabbed her wrist and slammed her into the ground (though was polite enough to not have her face plant the pile of puke). “Did you think you could get away with this?”
“... Yes, actually, I did,” the Overlord muttered weakly.
“You stole my soul. You treated me like crap. You kill thousands of people. And you don’t care?” Sexist demanded, “You’ll pay... The Insurgent Leader will just be upset that he wasn’t the one that finished you off!”
“Don’t be stupid, Sexist...” the Overlord commented, “You’re better than this. You’re not a killer... I know you aren’t...” ‘He better not be a killer or I’m screwed’, she thought grimly.
“You sure about that?” Sexist asked, pressing the knife against the Overlord’s neck. The Overlord let out a gasping noise as the point of the knife pressed against her neck and she flailed a bit. He laughed maniacally, “Your weakness. The Insurgent Leader had tried to figure it out for ages! It’s your neck, isn’t it?”
“Shut up!”
“Ha! He’ll be pleased to hear it when I return to the Insurgents!”
“Shut up!”
“Is that all you can say? You’re about to die, False One!”
The Overlord had one of those rare moments of serenity. For a moment, everything was clear to her- everything, down from when she had started her ninja training. Her mind was focused, her life flashing before her eyes. She knew this day would come... But there was one detail that Sexist had forgotten, “I’m the Overlord. I can’t die,” she said quietly, the last words of the Wises ringing in her ears. ‘Do a barrel roll’- it echoed in her ears, sent a flare of adrenaline in her veins, and caused her to suddenly roll away from Sexist- so fast that he didn’t have time to react. She kicked the knife from his hands and went to grab the scythe laying a few feet away.
Sexist grabbed one of his flails and began to swing it when the doors opened suddenly. The Overlord shot against the wall, realizing where the Wises had teleported them. ‘We’re... In the Fortress?’, she looked up and saw one of the statues that decorated her halls. But something was different. Something was very different.
The Overlord scooted into the shadows, behind a statue as a looming figure strode by, cape swirling ominously behind him. She saw the familiar dark blue eyes, the dark brown hair, and the large longsword that hung limply at his side- the one that was now supposed to be carried by the Insurgent Leader. Eyes narrowed, the Overlord felt her blood run cold. ‘That’s... The Uberlord!’, she thought in horror, then looked back as the doors opened again, this time, revealing a young teenage girl. ‘And that’s... No...’ the Overlord thought, her jaw dropping, ‘That’s...’
“UBERLORD!” the girl yelled in rage, scythe hung over her shoulder. She was clad in all black, a belt around her waist and her hood not drawn back. As the Uberlord turned to face her, the Overlord saw an eerie smile about his lips as he seemed to see her hiding there. The Uberlord tossed his head back and he laughed a single, icy word:
“Emily.”
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