Saturday, June 19, 2010

TOS- Vol 1, Pt 2, Ch 11

The Overlord Saga
Vol I. Past, Present, Future




Part II- The Wises

Chapter 11: There Ain’t No Polar Bears In Antarctica



The winds whipped across the frozen landscape, causing a shiver to run down the Overlord’s spine. Her eyes scoured the horizon, seeing nothing but flat, desolate, barren nothingness. She breathed, looking at the wisps of her hot breath as it swirled in the air. Leaning against her scythe, she looked at the others, specifically where the Soul-Keeper was shivering in his robe. Noticing that his mask was missing, the Overlord began to ask, but figured that would be another story for another day. She kicked at a chunk of ice, then asked, “How far out from it are we?”

“Far enough,” Jamie remarked, “Great... We can freeze our butts off while we’re walking.”

“Ughhhhh...” the Advisor shivered, “I’d have preferred it if we could’ve brought hot chocolate out here. There’s no way we can get anywhere without freezing to death. I hope one of you has a plan!”

“Here,” the Overlord held up a hand and an orb of fire appeared. Tossing it up into the air casually, she watched as it expanded, its warmth radiating down onto the travelers.

“Nice!” Jamie called.

“Heh... We’ll have to extinguish it after awhile. The impostor might see it,” the Overlord chuckled, then began walking. “I guess we’ll go this way?”

“Eh, why not?” the Soul-Keeper shrugged and began walking alongside the Overlord.

‘It’s just the same thing for miles’, the Overlord thought, grimacing as she searched to find the distant Mount Overlord. But there was nothing- not even a penguin in sight. She hung her head, the orb of fire waving just a few feet over their heads. ‘It’s gonna be a long journey to deal with this pain in the ass...’ she said to herself, scythe draped over a shoulder. Glancing at her cellphone, she noted how she had absolutely no signal, and quietly smiled to herself. ‘Take that, Lex Luthor’, she thought very smugly, then put her phone away in her pocket.

“Why am I here again?” Sexist complained, breaking the silence.

“You should be thanking me,” the Overlord replied, stepping through a small dune of snow and ice. She grimaced and pulled her leg out of the snowy mound before continuing, “It was either this or the Dungeon.”

“The Dungeon?” Sexist asked, tilting his head in curiosity.

“It’s run by the Soul-Keeper,” the Overlord explained with a smirk, “You’re subject to his powers. Do you know what his powers include? Impregnation among touch. And yes, before you ask, it does work on guys, too.”

Sexist shuddered, grabbing his stomach and glaring at the Soul-Keeper. Nonchalantly, the Soul-Keeper looked back at Sexist and grinned from ear-to-ear, reaching out with a finger to jab at him. Sexist hopped a step back in the snow, almost falling over. Glancing up, he asked, “So... Uhhhhh... Where does it... uh... y’know... Come out?”

“We’re not sure yet,” the Overlord admitted.

There was an awkward moment of silence. A long, drawn out moment that most likely granted an ‘awkward turtle’ hand gesture, but no one was feeling up to even giving it that. The Advisor trudged along miserably near the Soul-Keeper. Sexist brought up the back, feeling very much out of place in the group of loyal underlings and... Jamie. The Overlord and Jamie took up the lead before long, Jamie slightly more ahead of the Overlord. Occasionally adjusting where her scythe rested on her shoulder, the Overlord was, for the most part, quiet, but could be heard muttering threats to the impostor- most likely practicing for the confrontation.

“Ohhhh it’s been forever since we’ve done this,” Jamie remarked lightly, flinging an arm around the Overlord. Since the silence was broken, everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, or at least relax.

“Hm,” the Overlord muttered.

“The good old days...” Jamie began, “Don’t you miss those days?”

“Not really,” the Overlord admitted, “I didn’t have an army those days. Well... Not an underling army.”

“You mean there was a time before you were an Overlord?” Sexist piped up, still feeling very, very awkward.

Jamie laughed, “What have you been telling these poor underlings?” She scoffed, then said, “There was a time she didn’t even have powers. If she told you differently, then she’s freaking lying.”

“Oh come off it,” the Overlord folded her arms.

“Do you want to hear the story?” Jamie asked, “Because I’ll tell it. Best story ever.”

“Oh God...” the Overlord facepalmed.

“Once upon a time... the Overlord was a ninja in at the Tamashii Ninja Academy. She was on a little trek with her platoon one day in the woods. There was a werewolf there... She had to investigate, you see.” Jamie explained, “She was in the woods, not being particularly careful when she was running through the woods at night. She took a little fall from a small overhang and lands in this pool. What happened was that she opened her eyes and the water was glowing.”

“Glowing?” Sexist asked.

“Pft... I wasn’t high or anything,” the Overlord added.

“Yes. With the power of Christ the Lord,” Jamie nodded, “So Jesus speaks to her, tells her that she was selected for a ‘holy mission’ to save the world from this evil emperor that had a fortress somewhere between life and death. So, she receives these powers with the contract with God to save the world from this terror- some guy known as the Uberlord.”

“The Uberlord?” Sexist snorted, “Nice name...”

“Shut up, I’m telling a story,” Jamie snapped, then continued, “She gathers this army, right? Her platoon members helped her, of course. She found me somewhere along the way, same with the Twin and half the high council members. Soul-Keeper and Advisor included.”

“We were all there for the big fight,” the Advisor nodded.

“And the Overlord took on the Uberlord in one-on-one combat,” Jamie replied. “When it was all done and over with, there wasn’t a trace of the Uberlord left. He was gone. Disappeared. Disintegrated, maybe, but that left his fortress...”

“And that became the fortress we know now,” Sexist finished.

“Yes,” the Overlord replied, “I did not build that fortress. I helped add onto it, but the Uberlord was the one who constructed it.”

“The Overlord became who she is now after that happened. She began the long struggle with the Insurgents and that’s sorta been happening for awhile now, I’d say...” Jamie shrugged.

“Well that’s a lovely story,” the Overlord scowled, looking off at a few craggy ridges of snow up ahead. ‘Too bad you told it all wrong....’ the Overlord thought miserably, but shrugged it off.

“The Insurgent Leader told me a story once,” Sexist began, arms folded, “He said he got his sword from an enemy from long ago. Was he referring to you, ‘Overlord’?”

“Muramasa?” the Overlord asked, “No, I never owned Muramasa. The Insurgent Leader has had Muramasa since my reign began. After the Uberlord’s fall. I’ve always had my scythe... Well, after I received my powers. I had a katana before I got this baby.” The Overlord lifted up the scythe in the air, then ran her hand over the handle, feeling the words etched into the handle. “Had a few shruiken, too. And a naginata. And a bo.”

“Do you still have all of that?” Jamie asked.

“Yep. Stored in my office. Still have the uniform, too,” the Overlord replied, “Can’t say I miss the skin-tight ninja outfits... Rode up, y’know?”

“That’s why pirates are better,” Jamie shook her head.

“Oh... shut up and go find X,” the Overlord shoved Jamie playfully, "Freakin' pirate."

“There’s a mountain up ahead,” the Advisor warned them, “I think it’s the place we’re looking for.”

“Mount Overlord?” the Overlord asked, peering at the distant volcano, “Hm. Probably.”

“Finally. My feet are killing me,” the Soul-Keeper complained, “And I haven’t seen any polar bears yet. I’m rather disappointed.”

“That’s because they don’t live here,” the Advisor remarked.

“Oh...” the Soul-Keeper hung his head, “That... That makes sense.”

“How much more walking do you think?” the Overlord asked Jamie, who shrugged in response. Hanging her head, the Overlord laughed, but sighed at the same time, sounding slightly exasperated, “I guess we’ll find out when we get there, eh?”


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