The Overlord Saga
Vol I. Past, Present, Future
Chapter 19: Lost in Time
Jamie was absolutely positive that the food she’d been given by the Overlord at her Fortress had been tainted with LSD. She sat up, rubbing her head and staring at the freakish monk that stared at her- at least, she thought he was a monk. He wasn’t bald or anything, so, she supposed he could have simply been a robed man. But he looked like a monk, so for the story’s sake, we’ll just call him a monk. “What the crap!?” she yelled, promptly kicking him in the face. The monk fell onto his butt, but not without rolling to the side and snatching a long wooden stick from where it was leaning against a wall.
“What’s going on!?” the Advisor held onto her machine gun tightly, her eyes wide in horror. “What a creep...”
“Babysitter?” the monk asked, pointing his staff weapon at Jamie. “Babysit... Babies?” He pointed the staff at a couple of cribs that rested on the far side of the room, made cleverly with bamboo.
“I ain’t no babysitter,” the Soul-Keeper sat up, “No, actually... Where’s the babies? I wanna see ‘em! I bet they’re cute!”
“Oh gosh, this cannot turn out well,” the Advisor muttered, watching as the Soul-Keeper skipped playfully to the first crib, “Awww, he’s so cute... What’s his name!?” He reached down and picked up the baby, which was in nothing but a small diaper.
“Colby... Put the baby down,” Jamie facepalmed, “You’re going to scare it!”
“She. Is... Emirii,” the monk nodded.
“Huh? Emery? That’s an odd name...” the Soul-Keeper patted Emery on the head and smiled. “She’s cute! I think we should keep her!”
“What about this one?” Jamie asked, looking at the little blonde baby in the other crib, “He’s adorable!”
“Tomasu!” the monk nodded, “They are... Uhhh... They are kyoudai.”
“Yeah, they’re real cutie pies!” the Soul-Keeper threw Emery into the air and caught her, laughing as she began giggling. He sat her down, watching as she began to crawl toward some of the toys on the ground.
“His name is Tomato?” Jamie looked at the blonde baby and sighed, “Poor kid...”
“Guys... I don’t think those are their names...” the Advisor frowned, looking at a Japanese calendar. She began to speak to the monk when she realized he had vanished, leaving the three with Tomato and Emery. “I don’t think we’re at the right place... Er... or time.”
“Why do you say that?” Jamie asked.
“Emirii?” the Advisor pointed at where Emery had a little baby toy in the shape of a sword, “That calendar says 1994. This is the Tamashii Ninja Academy. That’s...” the Advisor’s eyes widened, “That’s the Overlord.”
“What!?” the Soul-Keeper looked horrified, “THAT’S THE OVERLORD!? OH MY GOD, I’VE SEEN HER MOSTLY NAKED!” He shrieked, causing Tomato to cry loudly. Jamie began rocking him back and forth, shooting the Soul-Keeper a dirty look.
“If that’s Emily... errr... the Overlord... then this is...?” Jamie looked down at Tomato, then winced, “The Insurgent Leader...”
“Oh god, I’ve seen HIM half naked too!” the Soul-Keeper wailed, “This is awful! This is the worst day of my life! I’ve seen them both half naked together!”
The Advisor snorted, “They’re babies, Soul-Keeper. Get over it.”
Jamie placed the baby Overlord and the baby Insurgent Leader in their respective cribs and frowned. ‘What did that one weird guy say about them?’ she thought, but shrugged it off. Eh, it probably wasn’t anything to be concerned about. Probably some stupid ninja mumbo jumbo she didn’t have to deal with. “I think we’re sorta-”
She was unable to finish her sentence, her words cut short by a tremendous quake in the earth. The room filled with a bright light and Jamie fell to the ground, grabbing a hold of the Soul-Keeper as he screamed at the top of his lungs. The Advisor clutched onto the Soul-Keeper’s ankle, though grimaced as she looked at his leg.
“What’s going on!?” the Advisor screamed.
---
“I don’t like this game anymore,” the Overlord sat up, glancing around the field that she had ended up in. “Sexist?” she asked, then spied him still unconscious about four yards away. She stood up, legs wobbly, and made her way over to him, nudging him with her boot. “Hey! Get up!” She hissed, shaking him with a hand.
Sexist started and opened his eyes, looking incredibly confused as he looked at the wide open plains. “Another time warp?” he muttered, “Where’d we end up?”
“Nooo effin’ clue,” the Overlord shrugged, “Let’s find out! Maybe we’re in the right time.” She hadn’t spoken for a second when the sound of a galloping horse caused her to look over her shoulder, “Huh?”
The sight of a mighty warrior, decked out completely in Chinese armor, made Sexist almost scream, but he muffled it with a hand. He jumped back, pulling out a flail and watching as the massive red horse reared up just feet before the Overlord. The Overlord narrowed her eyes at the rider, a massive warrior in black armor.
That was when she noticed the forces behind him, hundreds upon hundreds of cavalrymen. “It’s... LU BU!?” the Overlord yelled, and jumped back, eyes wide.
“Oh you have got to be-” Sexist began but a tremor sent him crashing to the ground, pulling the Overlord down with him. Lu Bu’s horse reared up and just as the hooves began to impale the Overlord, a blinding light filled the plains.
---
“This is new,” Jamie remarked, looking at the exotic scenery. She poked a very large crimson flower, watching as it swayed back and forth... And continued swaying. That was when she realized that there were footsteps- massive ones- headed in their direction. She frowned, standing up and drawing her cutlass from its sheath.
“Why does this keep happening?” the Advisor demanded, outraged.
“Ooh, pretty flower smells good...” the Soul-Keeper began sniffing all of the nearby flowers, ignoring the sounds of a massive creature as it approached the group. Jamie grabbed the Soul-Keeper by the arm as he began to investigate some blue colored flowers and pulled him back.
“What is it?” the Soul-Keeper asked and turned to see what Jamie was staring wide-eyed at. He looked at the feet, scaly and clawed, then moved up to the massive kneecap, then to the lighter toned stomach, and to the small hands, barbed and ready to kill something. Finally, he saw the face... Fangs bared, saliva cascading gently onto the vegetation below, and the piercing golden eyes of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
“That’s a dinosaur,” the Advisor began backing away.
“HOLY THUNDAGA!” the Soul-Keeper shrieked, casting down a bolt of lightning. As it split through the dinosaur’s skull, another, white, blinding light filled the jungle and the three were sent to the ground once more.
“Another time jump!?” the Advisor yelled in anger. “What is this!?’
---
“I REALLY don’t like this game!” the Overlord sat up, glancing at the icy terrain. Sexist sat up a few feet away, holding a mound of snow in his hand. He sighed and looked up at the cave, shivering, and turned to help the Overlord up when he halted. The Overlord shot Sexist a quizzical look and glanced over her shoulder to see a group of cavemen, staring at them wide-eyed with a small campfire.
“Me... Make...FI-” a caveman began.
“FIRE!” the Overlord jumped out of shock, and shot a flare at the cluster of cavemen. Around this time, she felt the first tremor of another warp and braced herself for the worst.
---
“Where are we this time?” the Advisor complained, sitting up and looking around the streets. “I hear... a parade?” She helped Jamie to her feet and promptly walked past the Soul-Keeper, letting him stand on his own.
Jamie held up a hand, watching as a platoon of uniformed soldiers walked past. The Advisor narrowed her eyes at the army green uniforms, opening her mouth to say something at their odd marching style. As the Soul-Keeper rushed over to peer out of the alleyway where they had landed, he caught sight of the marching soldiers.
There was a deafened, “HEIL!” at the end of the street, and the Soul-Keeper asked, “Nazi Germany? REALLY?” And then, the next tremor hit.
---
“SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HECK!?” the Overlord hopped up, moodily dusting herself off. She stared at the circle of citizens that had surrounded her and Sexist, who was still unconscious. Awkwardly, she waved, flashing them a smile and wondering if it was perfectly legal to steal their souls while they were stunned and vulnerable. She decided God would be mad if she did.
“She’s a witch!” a maiden proclaimed, pointing a very accusing finger at the Overlord, “BURN HER! BURN HER!”
“Oh hell no,” the Overlord commented but was thrown to the ground as another tremor hit.
---
“Elwell, that’s quite enough,” Dumbledore had Apparated next to Elwell, who was on the verge of moving Sexist and the Overlord to the Garden of Eden. Elwell startled, then looked over her shoulder, feeling a bit embarrassed. Dumbledore shot her a very cross look, and flicked his wand. The icons moved to the ‘Return to the Present’ folder.
“Well, it was fun while it lasted...” Elwell muttered under her breath.
---
The Ninja-Lord awoke on the cracked plains between the Fortress and the Insurgent Leader’s camp, her forehead throbbing painfully. She sat up, grabbing her head with a hand and spying her katana laying a few feet away. ‘What happened?’ she wondered, then briefly pondered if she was dead. She decided that she had to be alive in order to have a killer headache and grabbed her katana, looking at the Fortress in anger.
‘How did I get out of there?’ the Ninja-Lord wondered and sheathed her katana. She glanced around the deserted plains, breathing in painfully, and then exhaling, watching the Fortress as a dark cloud swirled ominously above it. “Overlord... Where are you?” she wondered aloud, then felt something brush her leg. Glancing down, she saw the little brown and white form of Nard, staring at the Fortress with a set of very dark eyes.
“Did you save me?” the Ninja-Lord asked, gazing at the little dog in confusion. Nard merely looked up at the Ninja-Lord, tongue sticking out a good inch, then glanced back at the Fortress, completely silent.
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